Thank You Marilyn Monroe

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

I first came across this quote 4 or 5 years ago. As cliche and corny as this may seem, it changed my life. I was not in a good place at the time. I was looking for a sign. I was looking for hope that tomorrow would bring better days.

When I first read this quote I was moved to tears. This was for me. This was my life. The hope I was given from these words gave me the strength I needed to push through (this and India Arie's "This Too Shall Pass").

I have suffered very much. Not just in love, but in life. I have had to endure things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. There were many times when I wanted to give up--even now sometimes I feel like it isn't worth it to continue. But then I remember these words and other things that have motivated me like it and I know I can go on.

I'm getting married in less than a month to someone I respect, love, and adore and who loves and respects me too. But the truth is--if I hadn't had the experiences I've had in life I would have never given him the chance. Or if I had I would never be able to truly appreciate his worth and comprehend how great a man he really is.

The same goes for my beat friends. If I hadn't known betrayal or bad friendships or dishonest people I would never know how valuable an honest and loyal friend was.

So I guess the point of what I'm saying is I feel lucky. I appreciate the fact that I have not hd an easy life. I'm actually grateful for all the heart ache, heart break, and pain I've had to go through. Because of all that I feel I've reached a level of understanding most people don't have until their middle age--if ever!

Thanks to everything I've had to go through in life early I get to start a new, better, more fulfilling life before I'm 30--surrounded by people I love who inspire me and make me happy.

Up until now I have resented the cards I've been dealt in life. Despite what I've tried to fool myself into believing; I've held grudges and negativity. But as my wedding day draw nearer and nearer I see no point in all that anymore.

Why? Why even hold it against anyone who has hurt me anymore? In the end, whether they know it or not, I'm the one who ended up victorious. I'm the one who gets the happy ending while (at least in my mind's eye) they stay stagnant. They will never grow, they will never change--and I will only get better with age.

Maybe I'm just writing this to prove something idk. All I know is, I've wasted most of my adolescence complaining about how unhappy I was and how much I hate my life and who I was and all the people who made it even worse--it's nice for a change to have something good to say.

I can't wait to say "I do."