Thanks again, Marilyn

I found this quote while looking for the full version of the one I just wrote about.

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.

"Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.

"As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything.

"Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie?

"So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
- Marilyn Monroe

I think I've found the theme for my next layout.

Thank You Marilyn Monroe

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

I first came across this quote 4 or 5 years ago. As cliche and corny as this may seem, it changed my life. I was not in a good place at the time. I was looking for a sign. I was looking for hope that tomorrow would bring better days.

When I first read this quote I was moved to tears. This was for me. This was my life. The hope I was given from these words gave me the strength I needed to push through (this and India Arie's "This Too Shall Pass").

I have suffered very much. Not just in love, but in life. I have had to endure things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. There were many times when I wanted to give up--even now sometimes I feel like it isn't worth it to continue. But then I remember these words and other things that have motivated me like it and I know I can go on.

I'm getting married in less than a month to someone I respect, love, and adore and who loves and respects me too. But the truth is--if I hadn't had the experiences I've had in life I would have never given him the chance. Or if I had I would never be able to truly appreciate his worth and comprehend how great a man he really is.

The same goes for my beat friends. If I hadn't known betrayal or bad friendships or dishonest people I would never know how valuable an honest and loyal friend was.

So I guess the point of what I'm saying is I feel lucky. I appreciate the fact that I have not hd an easy life. I'm actually grateful for all the heart ache, heart break, and pain I've had to go through. Because of all that I feel I've reached a level of understanding most people don't have until their middle age--if ever!

Thanks to everything I've had to go through in life early I get to start a new, better, more fulfilling life before I'm 30--surrounded by people I love who inspire me and make me happy.

Up until now I have resented the cards I've been dealt in life. Despite what I've tried to fool myself into believing; I've held grudges and negativity. But as my wedding day draw nearer and nearer I see no point in all that anymore.

Why? Why even hold it against anyone who has hurt me anymore? In the end, whether they know it or not, I'm the one who ended up victorious. I'm the one who gets the happy ending while (at least in my mind's eye) they stay stagnant. They will never grow, they will never change--and I will only get better with age.

Maybe I'm just writing this to prove something idk. All I know is, I've wasted most of my adolescence complaining about how unhappy I was and how much I hate my life and who I was and all the people who made it even worse--it's nice for a change to have something good to say.

I can't wait to say "I do."

I <3 Adventure Time Project

Now that I'm getting used to parenting and learning how to manage my time it's time for a new project.

I'm a big Adventure Time fan. In fact, it's currently my favorite show on TV. I think the art style, the characters, the plot, and the music are all super amazing.

So. To celebrate my love of Adventure Time I've decided to make amigurumi figures of all my favorite characters in Adventure Time. These will include the heroes of Adventure Time as well as many of the minor characters as well.

With the baby I don't have much time to work during the day. Also, I'm going to start doing commissions and make goods real soon. So I think 2 weeks per character will be a good amount of time to complete each character.

I'll announce the character I'm working on at the start of the two week period and when it's done I'll show off the finished product.

I'm so excited.

IT'S CROCHET TIME!

(Yep corny but whatever)

I'll be announcing my first character soon. Stay tuned.

Things no one told me about motherhood

There are a lot of things people insisted on telling me over and over again; like how I'll never sleep again, childbirth is the worst, and diapers alone will bankrupt me. But here are some things I had to learn on my own.

First, babies fart. Like...a lot. In fact my baby farts more than he does anything else--including eating and sleeping. And these aren't just little whispers in the wind...these are bassinet shaking grown person farts that reek of spoiled milk and cheese.

And since no one ever told me that babies fart no one told me that the best way to help a baby relieve gas is not just burping but also through tummy massages. In fact, up until recently I thought Julian was colicky...but really he was just a little gassy and bloated--poor thing! Since I started doing belly massages to help him pass gas he doesn't cry nearly as much as he used to (and, in turn, neither do I T_T).




Another thing no one told me was baby registry "must-have" suggestions are kind of bogus. As a first time parent I thought I needed bottle warmers and sanitizers, a whole bunch of different baby toys, different seats and swibgs, wipe warmers, and a whole bunch of other crap. I lost sleep over whether or not I had everything I needed on the list.

Now I see that was kind of dumb. There are very few "must-haves":
1.) For me my #1 thing is my Boppy nursing pillow--but honestly any fluffy pillow works just as well.

2.) Car seat. This is actually essential since you can't leave the hospital without one--whether you drive or not! Also some babies sleep better on car seats than anything else. Julian happens to be one of those babies.

3.) Stroller (but this may not even be a necessity for some). My mom bought us a Peg Perego skate system stroller. It's probably the best thing we received because it does so many things; it has a bassinet for strolling and sleeping, the car seat attaches to it, there's a jumper seat for when Julian gets too big, space for the jumper seat and car seat if we have another baby in the future, it even has a grocery bin and cup holder--what! I definitely think that a "transformer" stroller is the best way to go. They ARE expensive (especially the Peg Peregos) but you have to think of it as an investment (like your baby's car lol). In the longer run, saving up and spending a little extra on a stroller with a lot of functionality is going to save you a lot of money, time, and frustration.

4.) Battery operated swing. Officially speaking, you're not supposed to let your baby sleep in these. But parents know that's bs. Some babies won't sleep unless they're in one of these. Terrance and I didn't start sleeping again until we started letting Julian spend the night in his swing. A happy baby makes a happy family!

5.) Bouncy seat. Sometimes Julian does not like to be held. He just wants to sit in his own seat and just be left alone. He also gets tired of the swing. His bouncy chair offers an alternative. Since I have to bounce it for him it's a nice way to interact and sooth him while still giving him space (he's a pretty independent baby). I can also multitask by bouncing it with my foot while crocheting or reading or writing this blog entry. :)

6.) Changing mat. I freaked out over getting a changing table. All I could think was "how am I going to change this baby without a changing table?!" Well. That was stupid. All we use is a little wipeable portable changing pad or if that's dirty a towel or blanket. It isn't that serious D:

7.) Baby tub with seat. Okay the whole bathing a baby thing I'll get to later but this tub is great. It's the little whale tub with the green seat I think from Fischer Price. The seat keeps the baby from slipping while you're washing them. When I was doing my registry I almost cried over picking a baby tub (actually I may have really cried). There are so many different kinds and all of them say that they are the best! Someone just happened to give us this one as a hand-me-down and it does the job just fine.

8.) Diaper bag. I live out of the baby's diaper bag now. I keep extra socks, outfits, blankets, and some toys. But I also keep stuff in there for me like pads, extra underwear, a book, food.

I'm really happy I let Terrance pick out the diaper bag. We didn't go the cutesy baby bag route. Ours doesn't look like a diaper bag at all. We've been told by people that they would use it for themselves as a purse or tote. It's pretty sweet.

9.) Wubbanub. We have the lion Wubbanub for Julian. It's the only pacifier he really takes anymore. I like it because it gives him comfort in two ways; the comfort of sucking on a bobo and the company of a stuffed companion. Terrance doesn't like it because when Julian pulls on the lion the pacifier gets yanked out of his mouth. But it's the one that makes Julian happy, so it doesn't matter what T thinks, does it?

10.) Moby wrap. They're right when they say it's the only carrier you'll ever need. I knew I wanted a baby carrier but I didn't know which one was the best so I ended up asking for a couple different kinds. Lucky me, I got them all D: but the Moby wrap is by far my favorite. I was nervous to use it at first because I was scared I wouldn't be able to wrap it properly--but it's actually WAY easier to use than the other carriers (IMO of course). It's also a lot more comfortable because it distributes the baby's weight more evenly. I think Julian likes it best too. At first he didn't like it, but now he pretty much sleeps the whole time he's in it.

From a vain point of view it's also a lot more fashionable than other carriers on and off lol. I mean, it's basically just a really long, super strong, scarf. I think I'm gonna invest in a bunch of different colours and patterns. Lol. Mom fashion.

11.) Electric breast pump. I tried to get away with the manual breast pump but that just did not cut it. I kind of hate pumping but I also want to keep Julian exclusively on breast milk. The only way I can realistically do that is by pumping so I have bottles when we go out or when I go out (I'm currently saving bottles in the freezer for my wedding haha).

Sometimes though I am so engorged I HAVE to pump. It's seriously painful!

12.) Bunting. This is like a mix between a baby nighty and a blanket. It's basically a little sack that you zip your baby in. This came in handy when the weather got cooler. Julian was born in September, but since I was pregnant in the summer a lot of people bought warm weather clothing for him because that's what was available, I guess--and who really thinks about the appropriate season when looking at cute little baby clothes?

With the bunting it doesn't matter what he wears underneath, he'll stay nice and warm. We have a two fleece ones which are kind of light and then two heavier ones.

Those are my top 12 essential items. I honestly don't use anything else during the day. I have a wipe warmer and a diaper pal, because I asked for them-- but I could live without them if I had to.

In fact the portable wipe warmer is kind of a scam. It dries out the wipes over time and when you're on the go it only keeps the wipes warm for about a half an hour. On top of that you can't put a lot of wipes in it so you constantly have to refill it. It's kind of a pain.

The big wipes warmer is much better. You can fit a whole package of wipes in it. It also keeps them moist because it has a little pad at the bottom you soak in water before you use it.

As for the diaper pail. I do like it, but when we ran out of bags for it we worked just as well without it.




We have a bunch of little toys but the noisy ones with all those different buttons and stuff actually make Julian cry. He prefers the really simple colour chains and he loves black and white anything.

I made his rattle and a bear toy for him. The colour links and the toys I made for him are really the only things we play with--other than my iPhone. All the other toys just sort of sit in the corner neglected. Of course he's still only two months so I'm sure that'll change really soon.

IMO the toys I made for him are the best. Not just because I made them but because those toys aren't going to get thrown away. They're going to be his forever. I put a lot of love in them. I think every child should have something like that. I guess that's part of the reason why I love doing custom amigurumi for people. There's something very moving and special about getting something made especially for you.

Anyway back on topic.




In retrospect I wish I had put more thought into what clothes I asked for on my registry. I should have made it really clear that we needed winter clothing! Now we have a bunch of summer onesies that Julian has already outgrown but never got to wear because it was too cold D: (although we got away with some of them thanks to the buntings :D).




One thing we weren't told but I'm glad we considered was asking for diapers of all different stages. We have only had to buy diapers once thanks to that and that was because we weren't at home. Julian is currently at stage 1 and we've got a whole bunch of 2s, 3s, and 4s for when the time comes.

I'd also like to mention that diapers having sizes was something I was never told either. Before parenthood I kind of just thought diapers were one size fits all D:




Bathing was a big concern of mine that nobody told me about. Finally I asked my mom and...she laughed at me! I mean, I think it's kind of silly now too, but it really frightened me at first. I couldn't wrap my head around how I was supposed to hold the baby and wash him at the same time. Fortunately, it really isn't as hard as I thought it would be.



The last thing I'll mention is something people did tell me, but I couldn't comprehend until Julian was here.

The love I have for my baby is a feeling I have never known. Maybe this is not true for all mothers--but it is true for me. From the moment our eyes met I was in deep, unconditional, eternal love. The feelings I have for this child make me lose my breathe sometimes when I try to calculate it or understand it.

I didn't know what love was until there was Julian. And now that I've felt it, I can't ever live without it.

I had a hard time believing that a mother could ever hurt her child before--but now? It's inconceivable. I would sooner rip off my own skin than ever purposefully hurt this child.

He is the most precious thing I have ever known--even when he's whining and crying haha.

That isn't to say I never get annoyed or tired or frustrated. Far from it. I get irritated all the time. I'm freaking annoyed right now.

The point is that doesn't matter. I deal with the whining and crying and spit up and diaper explosions with good humor (at least I try to). I know one day I'm going to miss this.

When he's a teen and can't be bothered with me I'm not going to think about the sleepless nights orcthe times when his crying seemed inconsolable. I'm going to remember his toothless smile and his happy cooing and how warm and cuddly he was in his Moby and how soft his belly was when I rubbed it.

I think the most important thing I've learned is that the precious moments make everything else worth it.

Of course....

Julian is still ONLY two months old. So I still have lots to learn!

Hopefully I can do it with a smile.

:D







((This was a bit of a book, huh?? Kind of makes up for the lack of updates though, huh? Haha!))